Small Hands

EvangelicalShmelical

2011-12-08T12:52:00.001-06:00

So, here's kicking off a series on a little bit of what's been going on in my head these days. I know I have exactly 8 followers, so this is really mostly for me and any of you who feel like entering the conversation. If you're just interested in recipes or other family news I plan to keep updating those as well, so feel free to check back in periodically.

The working title is "evangelicalschmelical" Mostly thoughts on the word "evangelical" and my love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the term. I am so saddened by all of the hatefulness that has been perpetrated in the name of Christ, and that over time it has built into this massive misrepresentation of who Jesus is and what the Christian faith really is about. And I know I'm part of the problem, perhaps not in hateful acts, but in inaction and silence in the face of them.

The next few posts are going to be me trying to parse the modern usage of the term "evangelical," how it relates to my actual faith and include a few really important tirades in the mix. While I'm still working out the definitions for this series, here is a little gem from my good friend (I wish!) Derek Webb. The song is called "Freddie, please" and is written as if from Jesus to the infamous Fred Phelps, a despicable man, who has contributed to my desire to be clear about my faith. You'll be seeing/hearing a lot about Webb in this series, because he's just way more eloquent than I am and he speaks with a double-edged sword; I hope it's clear that Jesus is not even an iota like Fred Phelps, and neither am I...but have I actually done anything to try stopping him? Nope. I just comfortably sit at home, writing on my blog about how he's wretched and I'm cooler than him. Ouch. Anyway, the video includes Webb's commentary on the song and is entirely accoustic. The studio version of the song is kind of techno and cool and can be found on Spotify or purchased on iTunes. Lyrics are pretty clear, but just in case I've included them below the video.

Freddie, please
How could you do this to me?
How could you tell me you love me
When you hate me
Freddie, please

You know I love you honey
But I'll bleed you dry with money
I'll talk where I know you can hear
'Cause Freddie can't you see
Brother, you're the one who's queer

The stone's been rolled away
And you're picketing my grave
for loving things you hate
But why do you seek the living among the dead
Freddie, pleaseHow could you do this to me?How could you tell them you love meWhen you hate me Freddie, please

Autumn Menu with Aarti

2011-11-13T20:32:00.011-06:00

So today didn't go exactly as planned...

I got up early, energized and ready to go grocery shopping before church, thinking that I could then whip out a weeks worth of meals in 2-3 hours after lunch...

Week's worth of meals: check.

2-3 hours: NOT.

THE GOOD: everything came out DELICIOUS.

THE BAD: it took almost 5 hours from start to clean up! (This is me waiting for the peas to soften - 20 min - ha! An hour later...)

THE UGLY: my face after cooking "What happened to my relaxing afternoon time??"

The menu today was completely inspired by my favorite food network chef,

Aarti Sequeira

Aarti's Indian Summer Split Stew: Butternut Squash, Coconut and Split Pea Stew

Aarti's Lebanese Lentils, Rice and Caramelized Onions (Mujadara)

Aarti's Roasted Root Jumble with Feta Cheese

Aarti's Pumpkin Oatmeal

The Stew:

Oh my gosh the flavors in this are freakin incredible. Creamy, earthy peas, toasty indian spices, bright lime, sweet honey, exotic coconut - fantastic! (Left out the coconut in Chris' portion since he can't stand the texture of the stuff and it was still yummy).

NOTE: Apparently 'pigeon' yellow split peas are different from just plain yellow split peas in that they take a lot shorter to cook. As alluded to above, it took over an our for the peas to soften adequately).

The Lebanese Lentils:

So, to start off - crapload of onions!!

You cook the heck out of them to get them all roasty and caramelized, then mix them with the rice and lentils. Yummo! I misread the recipe which calls for red onions and used yellow instead, it still came out great! I forgot to get a picture of the dish by itself, but you can kind of see it in this picture topped with the Roasted Root Jumble:

The Jumble:

Wish I took a picture of the whole fennel bulb, it was my first time to cook with one. It tastes and smells strongly of anise raw, but the cooking totally mellowed out the flavor. Apparently you can cook and eat whole slices of lemons and they don't take your face off. The brightness remains without the punch. Those veggies are roasted with spice-infused oil, lemons and feta and taste absolutely brilliant!)

((Blogger is driving me crazy - won't. let. me. arrange. pictures!))

The Oatmeal: Warm, spicy pumpkin goodness, topped with toasted pepitas. The only thing I did differently was add a bit of molasses to it to give it a kind of Indian pudding vibe. I think Aarti would approve. ;-)

Worth it:

The last picture is gratifying as it represents the majority of my meals for a week (including breakfast and dinner), costs probably something like $3/meal or less and is entirely gluten free, super healthy and vibrant with flavor. (I'm not really TRYING to be gluten free, I just seem to be drawn to beans, rice and veggies lately...)

Cooking is a Pleasant Diversion...

2011-11-12T19:38:00.010-06:00

Housework is a breeze. Cooking is a pleasant diversion...

But teaching is like climbing a mountain.

~ Fawn M. Brodie

So lately I've been using cooking as stress therapy on the weekends. It just takes my mind off of work (which I love but do too much of) and connects me to my inner domestic goddess (she's in there I swear, honey!) I've mostly been scanning my favorite blogs and TV chefs for inspiration. A few weeks ago I did an Ode to Autumn with pumpkin soup, apple crisp and homemade chai.

Last weekend, after reading about Rachel's gut troubles, I got really into researching gluten-free foods and spent a lot of time looking at the GAPS diet (because lately I've become obsessed with nutrition and natural remedies), so I made Grain-free Jambalaya and Sweet Potato Baked Oatmeal - both were Fabulous and got me through a week of meals, without eating out! (Also TRYING to be obsessed with being frugal...)

Tomorrow I'm planning to do an Aarti Menu, but I'm kicking off the weekend with my version of the gluten-free Peanut butter cookie recipe Rachel posted a couple weeks ago.

I basically didn't measure anything except PB, baking powder and egg. I used brown sugar instead of white and about a tablespoon of honey mixed in. Then just threw in some things I liked - namely, currants and oatmeal. Yummy, creamy with a little burst of flavor from currants, perfect with a cup of "Constant Comment".

Have you discovered any healthy, quick, affordable recipes lately? Please share in the comments!

Changes

2011-11-12T13:20:00.004-06:00

So, it has been three years since my full-time ministry in the Karen community ended, and although I am still in touch with many of my friends there, my life has taken a different direction as an ESL teacher in a private language school here in Dallas. Lately I've had lots of things on my mind that I'd love to share in blog form (inspired by my sister Rachel over at Bananas, continued whose url includes the words 'just need this space'). So, rather than creating a whole new blog, I'm resurrecting Small Hands into a new space for general reflections on life, faith, cooking and anything else I feel like writing about. I don't foresee many others reading it, but there is something so enticing about putting your thoughts out there for the world to see - it's different from just writing in a personal journal (even though it's still VERY possible that no one else will read it); there is at least the chance that maybe somewhere out there in the blogosphere, someone will read your words and relate. So here goes Small Hands, re-booted.

2009-07-14T14:17:00.003-05:00

For some time I have had it on my heart to reach out to the teen girls in the Karen Community. I remember what a confusing and scary time it was for me to be a teenager (in my own country) and I really want to be there for them, encourage them and provide a space for them to feel safe. I also wanted to give them something to do for fun that would allow them to practice their English during the summer. However, with all of the insanity of teacher training, looking for a new job and buying our first house I pushed the idea to the back burner for awhile. I finally decided I didn't want to wait any longer so this week (yesterday) we had our first Girls Group meeting. (REALLY need to come up with a less lame name, hehe).

We will be talking, reading and journaling about all kinds of topics that are relevant to teens from goal setting and college applications to friendship and dating and the darker topics including drugs/sex/peer pressure/abuse. Everything we work through will be seen through the filter of "The 3 Loves" from the Great Commandment in Luke 10:27: Loving God, Loving Ourselves and Loving Others. I am praying for each girl and for myself as we journey through things that I am still sometimes terrified of.
Our group will be structured so that the girls are free to think deeply about things and share their thoughts. The first question I asked them to think about and share with a partner was "What do you think God wants from you?" Their answers were very thoughtful. One girl actually mentioned the Love God/Neighbor/Self before I brought it up and another girl said "He wants us to be nice, kind sweet, (etc.) but everybody will do wrong things because nobody is perfect." I was really glad she included brokenness in her response. As a closing question at the end of the lesson I asked them to write in their journal which of the three loves they felt was the hardest and why. Of the three who chose to share they all said loving others is the hardest, because people can be so mean. And they said loving God was the second-hardest because so many things happen to make them feel angry at God. We all shared further about that and had a really great discussion. The last thing we did was play Human Pretzel and then did a great, big, spinning-around-till-we're-all-dizzy-and-fall-down HUG. I can't wait for our next meeting!

Here are some pics from our time together:

Prayer Requests:

--> One of the girls' family is having a really difficult time financially. She shared with me that her parents have had to use their rent money to pay groceries because they are getting the run-around from the Food Stamp office (what else is new?). Please pray that her father will be able to work more hours and her brother will find a job soon. Feel free to contact me if you would like to donate food or finances for this family or are ever interested in helping with any of the tangible needs that I bring up on this blog.
--> Two of the girls' families recently moved to another apartment complex that is significantly more sketchy. There are lots of drugs and even homicides there. Please pray for their safety.
--> Pray that I will be open to the Spirit as I plan for our times together and that God would use me and each of the girls to teach us more about Himself.

Something to make you laugh:
(When the kids were explaining to me about a famous Thai singer who died): Little brother: "Yeah, he died because he got a bug on his brain, yeah like a ladybug." Older sister pipes in: "He means bacteria!" okay, so not a very happy topic, but I REALLY had to try not to laugh at the ladybug thing...

Something to make you cry (Graphic, not for weak stomach):
We were playing Outburst at a party last week, and one of the topics that was on a card was "means of execution" which I explained meant "ways to kill people". I didn't really think much of it and the girls got a lot of the ones on the card: hanging, stabbing, shooting, etc. Then they began to add the following from their knowledge of Burmese killing Karen people:
"putting someone in a barrell and pounding them to death.
throwing babies in the air and skewering them on spears
cutting off their eyes and nose and tongue
cutting off their arms and pouring salt all over the wound."
The students themselves had never witnessed these things, since they mostly grew up in the refugee camps, but just that they knew these things, that they actually happen, breaks my heart.

2009-04-28T16:40:00.004-05:00

Announcing (Belatedly) the birth of baby Grace! Congratulations Tah Lah and Malachi!

This baby gave us a lot of scares over the months leading up to her birth, but here she is, happy and healthy and chubbily adorable!

Grace
b. March 31, 2009, 4:50am
9 lb 8 oz

Attending Grace's birth was my second experience being present during labor, both experiences have been with Karen women who are friends and students of mine. I think I had a harder time watching them, than they did actually birthing; at both births I had to leave the room during the most intense part of the labor for nearly passing out. It is absolutely incredible how tough they are. These two women, one only 15 years old at the time, barely made a sound during their labor. And they not only had the pain to deal with but navigating the completely foreign environment of an American hospital with very limited English skills. I get terrified just thinking about how I would feel if our situations were reversed. What would it be like for me as an American woman who doesn't speak Thai to give birth in a refugee camp in Thailand? To decide whether to trust the medical technology or make decisions about birthing options that I'm not familiar with? Such a heavy burden on my friends...

Wanted to add a couple of pics of Ethan too, he's the first baby whose birth I was present for, his Mom is a good friend of mine too:

Ethan
b. November 23, 2007
6 lbs 4 oz

2009-03-08T15:28:00.005-05:00

Aung San Suu Kyi is the Democracy Party leader of Burma.

"Oxford-educated Suu Kyi, 62, has been under house arrest or in prison for more than 12 of the last 18 years." (Source: abcnews.net.au, article posted May 28, 2008)

"In her most famous speech, Suu Kyi said, “It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it.” She received a Nobel Peace Prize in 1991 for her peaceful, non-violent struggle against a repressive military dictatorship. In 2001 U2 dedicated a song, “Walk On” to her, and most recently she received the 2003 MTV “Free Your Mind” award." (Source: www.icubed.us/node/664)

Though she is a Buddhist, several years ago, Aung San Suu Kyi (pronounced: Ong Sahn Sue Chee) made a plea for Christians everywhere to pray for her country. In response to her plea, the second Sunday of March every year has been designated the Global Day of Prayer for Burma.

Today, I was given some time during the worship service to share with our congregation about the situation in Burma, the refugees, both internally displaced and internationally resettled. I've included my video presentation below. Because I was working on it until about 4 in the morning, I failed to give the proper citation, so just know that the first half of the information came mostly from the Christian Solidarity Worldwide (CSW) website, as well as from A Land Without Evil: Stopping the genocide of Burma's Karen people, a book by Benjamin Rogers, (CSW's Advocacy Officer for Southeast Asia). The second half of the video is made up predominately of images from my interactions with Karen families here in Dallas, the nicer pictures taken by my friends Gavan and Joon. Following the video is a copy of the responsive prayers we gave this morning, in case you feel led to pray as well. For more prayer resources please visit the CSW website (above).

Prayers for Burma

We pray for the families of all who have died as a result of violence, war, disease or famine in Burma, especially those who died because of human blindness, neglect, or hardness of heart. God of eternal life and resurrecting love, hear our prayer.

We pray for all the children and families living as displaced people within their own country, or exiled as refugees, especially the orphaned, widowed, neglected, abused, and those who live in fear of violence; that they may be relieved and protected. God of comfort and healing, hear our prayer.

Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving Spirit may so move every human heart, and especially the hearts of the people of Burma, that the atrocities committed by the regime would end, and hatreds cease; that their divisions being healed, they may live in justice and peace, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Lord, give us courage to hold fast to that which is good. Let us strengthen the faint hearted, support the weak and help the afflicted. May we love and serve you, rejoicing always in the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen

~ Adapted from prayers written for the 2009 Martin Luther King Jr. candlelight service at St. Matthew's Episcopal Cathedral, Dallas, TX

Praying with Nouwen

2009-02-11T12:38:00.003-06:00

"Through contemplative prayer we can keep ourselves from being pulled from one urgent issue to another and from becoming strangers to our own heart and God's heart. Contemplative prayer keeps us home, rooted and safe, even when we are on the road, moving from place to place, and often surrounded by sounds of violence and war. Contemplative prayer deepens in us, the knowledge that we are already free, that we have already found a place to dwell, that we already belong to God, even though everything and everyone around us keep suggesting the opposite." ~ Henri Nouwen, from his book, In the Name of Jesus

I have set aside this week to pray through the things I am doing and why I am doing them, and what changes God might be calling me to make in the outpouring of my gifts. Henri Nouwen has been a great prayer companion. I am reminded of many things it seems that I almost forgot about who our God is. He is the God who has cried out in a loud voice: "Let anyone who is thirsty, come to me! Let anyone who believes in me come and drink! (John 7:37-38) "Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28-29)

It never ceases to amaze me how I can run myself into the ground and desperately search for something to give me rest and comfort as if I didn't already know where to find it. He continues to surprise me with His love, mercy and grace upon my life and His work in my heart, why can't I just remember that always?

Encouragement and Accomplishment

2009-02-09T14:13:00.004-06:00

I am so excited to share with you my recent discovery of two new organizations that have formed within the last year. The first is the Karen American Communities Foundation, a national organization, lead by an entirely Karen Board of Directors, with only the Executive Director a non-Karen American. Their mission is so encouraging, here are their objectives:

o To gather, analyze, and make available information about the needs and conditions of resettled Karen people in the United States
o To provide non financial and non material support services.
o To provide culturally and linguistically appropriate humanitarian and social support services.
o To raise funds
o To expand our network and raise awareness about KACF to new arrivals, community organizations, the broader NGO community and state and government entities working on resettlement.
o To support the formation of Karen local assistance groups that respond to the needs of the Burmese community as they have defined them.
o To support cultural retention programs that enable Karen to maintain their language and cultural traditions.
o To establish scholarship programs for Karen youth and adults interested in pursuing academic opportunities.
o To organize community youth interaction and exchanges.
o To conduct outreach and activities targeted at seniors.

These are many of the dreams that I have had for the Karen people, without knowing that they were having the same dreams and accomplishing them! I still hope to assist in any way my small hands can in the accomplishment of their mission.

The second is the Dallas Karen Community, which has also recently launched it's own website to keep the local community updated on current events and networking opportunities. Their homepage boasts the slogan: "Things fall apart so things can fall together: Together we are strong." I cannot help but weep at the strength of a people and the beauty of words spoken by victims of a genocide ignored by the world.

Happy Karen New Year 2748

2009-01-22T13:43:00.010-06:00

(All photos on this post by Gavan Nelson)
Last weekend, the Dallas Karen community hosted a celebration of the Karen New Year, ringing in the year 2748 on their calendar. This date represents the year scholars believe the Karen people migrated south from Mongolia to settle in the area now known as Burma (Myanmar). This year, as in every year for the past five years, Gaston Oaks Baptist Church was the venue for this event. I arrived about a half an hour after the festivities began, to a sea of people crammed into a large fellowship hall. The first thing to draw my attention, once I was able to peer through the mass of bodies was the food line. Two long rows of banquet tables boasted enough food for twice the number of people in attendance, delicious curries and noodle dishes; vegetables, rice, and the most famous and mandatory condiment of the Karen - the spicy fish paste sauce - HHHHOTTT!! As my husband and a friend of ours wound our way through the line and past rows and rows of occupied seats, we found a few to settle down on and chow. On the way through the line and to our seats, I was calling out to and hugging about every fifth person there, balancing plate of food precariously in one hand, and just trying to look in every direction at once.

The program for the festivities was arranged so that the first two hours were allotted to eating and mingling and the last three for speeches, awards and performances. Yes, that means it was a FIVE HOUR event. Of the several hundred people in attendance, there were probably 20 non-Karen Americans. This was much more than last year, and I was happy to see more people involved and aware of the Karen.

Wallace (left), a leader in the Dallas Karen community, gave the opening speech in English and then again in Karen. He shared the story of his people, what is happening in his home country, why they have come here and a little about the current situation of the refugees. He spoke with gratitude for all who came to celebrate with them. Though the the speech was quite long, and the sound quality at the venue not good, I appreciated his words and his desire for Americans and others to learn about his people. Wallacem (pictured at left) is a founding member and board member of the fledgling Karen American Community Foundation, an organization I hope to help in any way I can.

After the singing of both the American and Karen national anthems, the performances were arranged so that each of the smaller communities of refugees were separated by apartment complex and took turns performing their acts. The very first act was a Karen pop song-and-dance act that was strongly reminiscent of a junior high talent show, very entertaining. From there the entertainment ranged from performances by a Karen pop-music recording artist (yes, the girls screamed and people were waving their hands in the air to the ballads!), to dances in traditional clothing telling the story of a Karen year of harvest and planting, to a performance by what can only be described as the Karen "backstreet boys", a surprisingly well-done hip-hop dance to the American tune "Apologize". The last was one of my favorites as two of the kids from my apartment complex performed in it, they did great!

It was pure joy to see the Karen people have the confidence to plan and host such a large event. Watching such excited faces in a gathering of a people who have been the victims of a sixty year genocide, and seeing their happiness at the continuation of homeland traditions, I left the Karen New Year celebration in awe of the perseverance and steadfastness of these people.

Happy New Year my brothers and sisters.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2009-01-15T11:33:00.005-06:00

Last night the some of the young girls I teach told me that one of the Karen refugees in another apartment complex was stabbed in a mugging by a black man. They wanted me to walk them back to their apartment because they were terrified a black man was going to come and cut them. While I am glad that they have a healthy fear of walking alone at night, and was happy to escort them, I tried to use this as an opportunity to talk about racism. I reminded them that not all black people are criminals, and many white people, Spanish people (their English isn't quite good enough to be pc yet) and even Karen do the same bad things. I even pointed out that their neighbor in the apartment next to them, whom they call "grandma" is a black woman and they love her. Their answer was "she's not black, she was born in America." I don't know exactly where they learned that logic, but I hope we can talk more about it soon to sort it all out. Perhaps it is Providential that this weekend marks the celebration of the life of Martin Luther King, Jr and the progress of the Civil Rights Movement, and also the imminent inauguration of our first African-American president. I think I may have just found the topic for my class tonight...

On Storytelling

2009-01-10T15:28:00.007-06:00

"[The story] happens because the storyteller’s own experience of men and
things, whether for good or ill. . . has moved him to an emotion so
passionate that he can no longer keep it shut up in his heart."
--Murasaki Shikibu

The idea of being a story teller is so appealing to me. To tell events and interactions in a way that draws others in to the taste and sight and sound of another person's experience; to take the reader or the listener into another realm, so that they know the characters like they were dear friends - that is the draw of storytelling.

Over the past two years there have been so many stories, some hilarious, some tragic, some shocking, but all just trapped in my own head with no place to share them. I hope that I can be disciplined enough to write often, to share the experiences I've been given with those of you passing by.

Thanks Jo, for sharing your passion for stories, and that quote...

Parenting: "Because she ate monkey."

2009-01-09T13:31:00.005-06:00

Helen (all names changed for privacy), a Karen mother of six who speaks almost no English, was forced to flee her country in the 1990s because of acts of genocide against her people. She and her family endured in primitive refugee camp conditions in Thailand for more than ten years before relocating to the United States, a country that is possibly the furthest in culture and language from her own that she could possibly get. Here is a clip of this week in my experience with her...

Every week in my interactions with Karen families, I am asked to assist with situations that I have never dealt with before and have no training or expertise in. This week it happens to be parenting. As a newly married, childless woman of 28, giving parenting advice to a seasoned mother of six, is just not a position I want to be in. But this week, when Helen's three year old son, Theo, had a major freak out at the doctor's office (kicked screamed ripped things off the wall, spit in the nurses face, and I mean projectile spit), I was left to try to explain the doctor's concern that her son may have of ADHD (Attention-Deficit-HyperActivity-Disorder). I know this woman's family very well, and all of her older children are well-mannered, polite, and well-adjusted kids. But her youngest son is just a little wild child, a sweet and adorable one, but definitely a little monkey. Her eldest daughter Eleanor says it was because her Mom ate monkey when she was pregnant with him (no joke).

I want to be clear that I felt like a complete idiot acting as an "advisor" here, because, as previously mentioned, I am NOT a parent, nor an expert on childhood behavioral problems, and because I know that Helen is a good mother and did not want her to feel shamed or embarrassed that I criticized her son's bad behavior. Also, I discovered that Theo's behavior in the doctor's office was in part escalated by his absolute terror of doctors, due to a bad experience in the refugee camp when he was 2. But because his behavior is a bit out of control even in normal circumstances, and because I felt obligated to pass on the doctor's concerns, I began to explain, through Eleanor, about children with extra energy, low attention span, etc. and how they can benefit from more structure and discipline. And then I ran straight into the issue that plagues many Karen parents in the States: spanking.

In Burma and Thailand, the parents are accustomed to spanking their children as the main form of discipline. When they arrive in the states, they are told that they should not spank their children, that they may be arrested or that their children will grow up to be mean and violent. I am still not sure exactly what information they are given or from whom, but they all have a fear of spanking their children in front of Americans, or even in their own home at all. They have been taught to use alternative methods like putting the child in the bathroom and closing the door for a few minutes.

I know these are complicated issues that have sparked many raging debates in the U.S., both the use of physical punishment and the existence and treatement of ADD/ADHD and I want to be clear that I am NOT looking to start a debate here. But I am looking for some unbiased information on how to help Helen discern if her son's problems are simply a lack of discipline or something more complicated, and what resources are available to help him. I picked up some information from the WIC office yesterday, about a program called "CareQuest Kids", that might be able to help. Any advice would be welcome from people with direct experience with ADHD children and services related to parenting.

About Me and This Crazy Blog

2009-01-06T21:02:00.011-06:00

“The longer I live, the more faith I have in Providence, and the less faith in my interpretation of Providence” – Jeremiah Day

It is by Providence that I have become connected with a small community of Karen refugees in Dallas. (Never heard of the Karen? Here is a well written report by the Free Burma Rangers, detailing the ongoing genocide of the Karen and other minority people in Burma. The report is quite long, but you can get a general overview in the first few pages of the introduction). What began as a ‘simple’ ESL teaching internship, has morphed into something much deeper; something more complicated, painful and joyful. I have taught my students in a classroom and in their homes, driven them to emergency rooms, spent hours waiting in line with them at the Medicaid office, cheered on their children at band and choir concerts, cried with them, laughed with them, loved them. Though I have only recently signed on as a missionary with ARM Ministries, (to learn more about ARM, click here), I have been working with this community of Karen refugees since September 2006. And I still have no idea what I’m doing. But I'm working it out every day.

People often ask me what exactly it is I do. Well, I find myself in a position of seeing needs everyday and having a million ideas on how to fulfill them but little time or space in myself to address them. Martin Hironaga, co-founder of Common Grace Ministries, and a great mentor to me, likes to say that you can throw a stone in any direction and hit a need. Our lives can’t be obsessed with need fulfilling because we will be spent too quickly and there will still be an ocean of need. But when we know ourselves, our position as broken sinners, holy and dearly loved by God, we can move in a direction that is both an expression of our gifts and an offering of grace that will not be wasted. So in my journey at present, I am praying about the resources that I have (in my own "Small Hands", hence the blog title) and the best ways to offer myself for the benefit of my Karen friends. At the moment that means I am focusing on these few projects in particular:

1) Community Organizing – Assisting the Karen population to form its own “Dallas Karen Community Organization.” Their goal is to be able to take leadership in their communities for the benefit of their people. I hope to start by helping them form an exhaustive list of people, agencies, projects and resources that are currently being offered to them. At them moment it seems like there are a lot of people willing and able to help, but they’re all doing things independently with little cooperation or sharing of resources. I am currently waiting to hear from some community leaders about ways that I might be able to help with this. UPDATE: Dallas Karen Community Organization already formed (I had no part in it's creation, they were already on top of it), as well as the national Karen American Communities Foundation. See my more recent post "Encouragement and Accomplishment" for more details.

2) Small Business Start-up – Many of the Karen women are skilled weavers and make beautiful traditional Karen clothing, bags, and other textiles. Some other missionaries and I would like to help them develop a business for selling their products. So far we are working on getting them the looms and thread they need to do the work, and also the legal/financial/administrative help to actually start the business.

3) Youth Work – I have spent a lot of time with the school kids, pre-K through High School, and I especially have a heart for the teenage girls. I have had them over for a slumber party, inducted them into the unofficial fan club of “Anne of Green Gables”, and would like to continue doing activities and outings with them that deepen their relationships with one another, their sense of God in their lives, and their value as people as they try to navigate American social life and culture.

4) Advocacy – As I began getting to know the Karen people, I became curious about their status as refugees. I began studying the history of their people, the events leading up to their present situation, and the continuation of atrocities committed against them in Burma that began over 60 years ago. A passion of mine is to see the desperate situation of the Karen and all of the people of Burma, recognized by the international community, especially the church worldwide, and given serious attention and resources. For more information on advocacy and to find out what you can do to help, please visit the U.S. Campaign for Burma website.

Though at the moment I am working as as an independent missionary, I am interested in collaborating with others who feel drawn to this kind of journey. If you would like to partner with me in any of these areas, either by the work of your hands, the presence of your prayers, or the offering of your resources, please feel free to leave me a comment below or click here to make a donation.

Idle Wise

2009-01-05T14:55:00.002-06:00

“One is not idle because one is absorbed. There is both visible and invisible labor. To contemplate is to toil, to think is to do. The crossed arms work, the clasped hands act. The eyes upturned to Heaven are an act of creation.” ~ Victor Hugo

I have a really hard time believing that. But it's true. Though every minute some part of my brain is anxiously searching to define the purpose of my work, the consequences of my actions in that moment, the praise I might bring myself for what I do, it seems that doing is not the only work to be done. So I am spending my days thinking, praying and preparing. I haven't quite figured out what I'm preparing for so I'm still praying. It's QUITE difficult to feel content in that.